so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
