my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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