i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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