piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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