Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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