you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
3pm strippers are depressing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize