but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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