He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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