I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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