Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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