We're like a lot better than the average bears
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
