I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
