drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
