sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
