I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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