ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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