Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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