Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
