It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
