Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
