so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
