just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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