god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
