You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
