i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
