i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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