gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
