Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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