Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
