is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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