Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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