oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize