it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
