I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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