Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Drunk is not a location!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
