the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
