I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
