I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you will always have a special place in my vag
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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