I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
