Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
