I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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