dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
