Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
