My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.