a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just had sex bonerless
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wish my penis had a tongue
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK