So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What changed your mind?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today