Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
