you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
