FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize