Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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