Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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