Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
