I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize