wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You may now shotgun with the bride
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize