Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
