I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize