everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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