I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize