he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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