We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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