i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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