The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
