David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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