Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize