Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
