We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
